Trust

Trust

Dear Dearest,

You asked me whether I trust you completely. Baby I can’t say that I trust you. I don’t trust anyone, for trust is a belief. And I don’t believe blindly. And if I say that I trust you for a reason, how can that be a trust, it is actually a realisation. That doesn’t mean that I don’t take chances. I do take chances. But I don’t ignore the other possibility. May be that’s why I am always anxious.

I don’t believe that you love me. I understand that you do. That doesn’t hinder you from leaving me if I become bad or incompatible. Or at least I know that it shouldn’t. I understand that you had been on my side on many occasions when I needed you and when I needed someone. I also understand that sometimes I was on my own. But you are one among the people go to when I am troubled by something. So, I don’t believe that you love me, I know that you do at this moment. That is the foundation on which our love is built. Thus, this relationship will go on until we stop feeling love for each other or we stop expressing it.

It may not be romantic, but the truth is that I love you not with my heart, but with my brain and my body. Heart cannot love, it can only pump blood. And I am not realising that you love me only because you say so everytime or only because I feel that you care for me, it is because you say it as well as I feel that you care for me. It is the combination of both that makes me conclude that you love me. I may be wrong, but for my rationality which may also be wrong makes me think that you love me. It is also my rationality that makes me understand that it has limitations. But I won’t think about what I think to be wrong to be right until I am proven wrong.

You may think that my love isn’t love. But here too I don’t believe that it is love, but I understand that it is. It may be difficult to understand that it is love. But I am sure it is. May be, unknowingly, this is how everyone loves .

Do you think I should have said a yes or a no?

With Love
A. R.

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